Bad Xmas Jokes

16/12/19

Sleigh-bells ring, are you listening? It’s Santa, or at least someone cosplaying as Santa charging for selfies in a mall.  The silly season is upon us!  Formerly sane colleagues suddenly want to chat about Elf on the Shelf. There was talk of a company float in the Christmas parade, but no one owns a ute.  There’s an increasingly angsty office-wide debate about the eco-friendliness of tinsel.  Are you getting anything done at work these days, apart from bravely not commenting on the receptionist’s antler headband?
 
2020 Visions
 
December feels like a long winding-down of the work year, especially this year when it also marks the end of the decade. The thing is, you don’t get endings without new beginnings. On the heels of the Christmas hangover come the New Years’ resolutions.  Our resolutions usually reflect the things we know we ought to do, but don’t.  Exercise, reading, travel, or just less time with the wine and chips in front of Netflix.  Getting further with our careers and personal development is usually on the resolution list, but instead of motivation Santa brought you a comical NSFW BBQ apron. Another one.
 
Christmas Presence
 
The festive season is a great time to practice some of the skills you need in business. Negotiating difficult conversations is a time-honoured office party tradition.  You’ll hone your event management skills as you plan the big dinner or the ill-advised trip away. You’ll role-play setting realistic client expectations when the kids ask Santa for the Paw Patrol Ultimate Fire Truck but you get them the Generic Dog Rescue Flame Vehicle because it was half the price. You can even use the stress of the holiday season to practice your anxiety management techniques – here’s our guide to it. These are all important skills, but how can you really get ahead of the game?
 
Re: Solution!
 
Most of us would like to reach our #workgoals, but day-to-day busyness doesn’t seem to leave room for leaning in, especially when the festive season soaks up so much time and attention.  The trick is to schedule something definite, quick and impactful, and soon. Your Learning and Development elves live for this stuff, so mention to them what you’d like to work on and let them give you the Christmas gift of supporting your advancement (and your 2020 resolutions). The Pickering Group’s private and group coaching (Arena programme) will tick personal and career development off your wish list.  Practical skills, endlessly reusable templates and ongoing guidance that adds significant, measurable improvement to your work life with minimum disruption.  Book it in now and have actual happy holidays!
 
BONUS: Cracker Jokes to Annoy Your Co-Workers!
 
Why did HR decide not to hire Rudolf and Blitzen?
They were two deer!
 
What does Santa do with Elves that don’t meet their KPIs?
He gives them the sack!
 
What did they sing at the Snowman’s retirement party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
 
Why should you not buy shares in the Advent Calendar market?
Their days are numbered!